Life Imitates Art Which Imitates Life
by Stephanie Elisabeth Neal
Summary: A prime example of how fanfiction can make a bad day much better. Femslash. LJ.


Assistant District Attorney Jill Bernhardt was having a terrible day.

She opened the door to her office and tossed her briefcase onto the nearby couch. The thud it made was soon followed by the thud Jill made when she flopped down next to it in a huff.

"Bad day?" Inspector Lindsay Boxer's gravelly voice came out of nowhere.

Jill bolted upright to see her best friend slouching in the leather chair behind her desk. "How'd you get in here?" she questioned. "I'm sure I locked the door."

"Locks are no match for my skills," Lindsay smirked.

Jill looked at her with an expression that Lindsay took to mean 'I'm not amused'. Jill on the other hand was simply trying to maintain her composure. She had known about her unrequited feelings for her best friend for a while now and she had gotten into the habit of avoiding being alone with her. Now, suddenly alone with the tall, dark, and gorgeous inspector, Jill was faced with the very thing she had been dreading.

"Well then…what are you doing in here?" Jill continued to question. She figured that the longer she kept the focus on Lindsay, the easier it would be to ignore the longing ache that she was feeling.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go grab a drink," Lindsay said. "We haven't hung out in a while."

"Umm. Okay. Why don't you call Claire and then we'll all meet up somewhere?" Jill suggested, hoping for company.

"She's busy with her rugrat tonight," Lindsay drawled. "It's just us."

"Oh," Jill squeaked. Her nervousness was growing exponentially.

"Yeah. I had time while I was waiting. After a while I got bored of going through you stuff. I gave her a call about 15 minutes ago," Lindsay elaborated.

"How long have you been in here?" Jill asked as she furrowed her brow.

"Long enough to rifle through your desk twice, call Claire, and still have time to idly search things online," Lindsay remarked.

"You used my computer?" Jill squeaked.

"Yeah. Is there a problem?" Lindsay smirked.

"Uh, no. Of course not. Why would there be a problem? Find anything interesting?" Jill said as she unsuccessfully tried to hide her panic.

"As a matter of fact, I found many interesting things online," Lindsay reported with an amused tone.

"Oh yeah. What's that?" Jill stammered.

"Well, I discovered this nifty little site called fanfictiondotnet," Lindsay continued. "But of course you know what that is. It's your homepage," she said clearly amused at her friend's reddening face.

Jill said nothing, knowing she had been caught, so Lindsay continued.

"You know, computers these days are a wondrous thing. Apparently, they can save passwords for you so that signing into accounts is much faster and easier," Lindsay reported. "As a matter of fact, I opened up your internet browser and it was already signed into the homepage," Lindsay had an evil glint in her eye.

"And you know me, always the curious inspector, looking for clues and answers to mysteries. I just had to look around and see what the website was all about. At first it was a little overwhelming, so I decided to look under your "favorites". I figured that would make it a bit easier," Lindsay continued in the same tone. Highly amused and slightly condescending.

"Alright already, Linds," Jill said finally. "I get it. You caught me. It's a guilty pleasure. Happy now?" she huffed.

Lindsay didn't bother to contain her laughter. "Hey, I understand the appeal of Law and Order, with you being a district attorney and all," she chuckled.

"Yeah. I live vicariously. The fanfiction authors tend to give their cases happy endings: something we don't get to see too often in our line of work," Jill offered as an explanation. She was relieved that it seemed that Lindsay had ventured no further than that.

"Makes sense, but what's A/O?" Lindsay asked with an upraised eyebrow. "I saw that a bunch of times in your favorites list. You came in right when I was about to click on something. So what is it?"

"Uh…Umm…I…Err," Jill stuttered as she searched for a plausible lie.

"Stop trying to think of a lie," Lindsay chuckled. "I could just as easily click on a link now, ya know?"

"Fine," Jill sighed. "A/O is a fanfiction pairing."

"A pairing?" Lindsay asked curiously. "As in a couple?"

Jill nodded.

"And from the abundance of A/O in your favorites, I take it that it's your favorite pairing," Lindsay concluded.

Jill nodded again. She looked disheartened. She had resigned herself to her fate. She knew what Lindsay's next question would be, but she waited to hear it anyway.

"And what does A/O stand for?" Lindsay asked the expected question.

"Alex and Olivia," Jill sighed.

Lindsay looked deep in thought for a few moments. "I've watched that show before, and I know who Olivia is. The detective, right?" Lindsay paused in contemplation, "but I can't seem to picture a guy named Alex on that show. Who is he?"

"Alex is the Assistant District Attorney for Detective Benson's unit," Jill answered without using gender specific pronouns. She hoped against hope she wouldn't be caught.

"Isn't the ADA on that show a woman?" Lindsay asked after a beat.

Jill was out of luck. She sighed and nodded again.

Lindsay remained silent. And Jill grew more and more nervous by the second. Suddenly, the inspector's expressionless face transformed into a huge grin. The grin soon turned into a fit of laughter. Jill buried her face in her hands. She was mortified.

"You say fanfiction is a guilty pleasure...and your favorite pairing…is a lesbian pairing?" Lindsay managed to choke out.

"Shut up, Linds," was all Jill managed to some up with in response.

"And you live vicariously through them, you say?" Lindsay continued.

"Shut up," Jill repeated.

"What a minute. You live vicariously through a lesbian pairing?" Lindsay asked with a furrowed brow.

"It must be a San Francisco thing," Jill offered meekly.

"Yeah right. I don't buy that for a minute. Quit bullshitting me," Lindsay drawled. Her southern twang came through loud and clear.

"I just like that show, ok?" Jill said defensively.

"Okay. But A/O isn't from the show. It's from your wonderful world of make believe," Lindsay taunted.

"So?" Jill defended as she crossed her arms like a petulant child.

"Geez. Are you sure you're a lawyer? That's an interesting and elaborate argument," Lindsay continued.

"It's no big deal, Linds. The lines are blurred in fanfiction all the time. It's not the only genre that's written and it's not the only pairing people use," Jill said, hoping to downplay the significance of the situation.

"I see. So what other pairings are there? Are there any with that new ADA on the show? The red-head?" Lindsay questioned curiously.

"Yeah. People do sometimes write Casey and Olivia stuff, but I refuse to read it. I hate that the red-head just swooped in and all of a sudden is paired with the dedicated cop. It's like…ew. She stole the inspector away from the ADA who was there way before she ever showed up," Jill ranted.

"Detective," Lindsay said.

"What?"

"They're detectives on the show. You said inspector," Lindsay corrected.

"Oh. Right," Jill said hoping that her Freudian-esque slip would go unnoticed.

Unfortunately for the ADA, Inspector Boxer was an excellent interrogator. "Is that why you're so hostile towards Cindy?" Lindsay chuckled.

"No! I mean…I'm not hostile," Jill said trying to sound casual.

"Heh. I think you're blurring the lines between reality and fiction a little too much, Jill," Lindsay chuckled.

"I am not," Jill defended herself poorly.

"Ri-i-ight," Lindsay drawled disbelievingly. "You're mad that the red-head stole the _detective_ from the blonde ADA," she stated in contemplation.

"Want to go get that drink?" Jill interjected hoping to interrupt the inspector's musings.

Lindsay's eyes suddenly grew as wide as saucers as understanding fell upon her. "Jill?"

"Lindsay."

"Ji-i-ill."

"Linds."

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"Yeah. We should go before it gets too hard to find tables at the bar," Jill dismissed the big pink elephant in the room. "Let's go." She moved towards her desk to gather her belongings in preparation for their departure.

"Jill," Lindsay stated again, using her no-nonsense tone this time. She remained sitting in the chair, but managed to trap Jill between the desk and herself.

"Yeah," Jill gulped.

Lindsay stood slowly, making sure to lock her gaze with Jill's eyes. "You said your guilty pleasure…is that you live vicariously through fanfiction."

Jill nodded.

"Through a show with a blonde ADA, a brunette law enforcement officer, a black medical examiner and a red-headed newcomer," Lindsay said pointedly. "Through a pairing of a blonde ADA and a brunette detective," Lindsay continued as she stood to her full height.

"Uh huh," Jill squeaked.

"And you're resentful of the red-headed newcomer."

Jill blushed and so Lindsay continued.

"Jill," Lindsay made sure to hold the shorter woman's gaze. "You've got nothing to worry about," she smirked.

"What are you talking about?" Jill stammered trying not to get her hopes up.

"Everyone knows that a blonde and a brunette are the one-true-pairing 95 percent of the time. I mean…look at Xena and Gabrielle," Lindsay winked.

"You knew?!" Jill cried out.

Lindsay released her laughter which turned out to be uncontrollable.

"You knew and you tortured me?!" WHY?" Jill yelled.

"It was an experiment. I wanted to see if we had more in common that you weren't telling me. You know, like this little guilty pleasure," Lindsay chuckled as she stood face to face with Jill.

"And?" Jill huffed indignantly.

"And," Lindsay prompted huskily, "I don't like the red-head either," she smirked as she slowly closed the gap between them, giving Jill plenty of time to escape. To her pleasant surprise, Jill moved to close the gap as well.

Their lips met tentatively, both women not wanting to scare the other off.

Pulling apart, Jill smiled shyly as Lindsay looked smug.

"Now how about I take my ADA out for that drink?" Lindsay suggested. "Olivia does invite Alex out for drinks, doesn't she?"

Jill nodded giddily.

Assistant District Attorney Jill Bernhardt was having a wonderful day.


End file.
